OHMYFUCKINGGOD.

Full Circle

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Goodye Cruel World.

I took a 45-min shower in anticipation of 'less than 5 min' shower times for the next 2 weeks. While doing that, I tried to figure out why women take forever inside showers. Well I didn't manage to find out why.

But I did manage to learn how to pick up my soap if I dropped it and at the same time defend my behind. I'm sure that'll come in useful.

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin' it's early morn
The taxi's waitin' he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Close your eyes I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times, I won't have to say

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Well, I'm leaving on a boat.
See ya in 2 weeks.

____________________________________________________________________

Finally, finally.

The Trouble With Love Is.

"Therefore I lie with her and she with me. And in our faults by lies we flattered be."

Too many times we use love as an excuse to deny the truth that is staring right at our faces. Like the flickering flame on a candle, we earnestly try to retain the last dying embers of flame. When the flame fizzles out limply, we refuse that reality and search vainly for another explanation. When do we remove our rose-tinted glasses and stare at the abyss right between the eyes?

The trouble with love is?
We believe it's real.

Tommy Tiernan is my new hero.



Sleeping on the couch tonight? Now you know why.

Shut The Fuck Up

I place great emphasis on first impressions. That is not the same as judging a book by its cover and condemning them to eternal exile.

Most of the time.

I usually step into a new environment with my whole arsenal of stereotypes locked and loaded. Painstakingly I would survey the faces and file them away in suitable categories such as, "Mummy's Girl", "Funny guy", "Guy who thinks he is funny", "Girl who thinks she's so hot I should kiss the ground she walks on", "Nerd", "Gamer", "Average Joe/Jane"..

Well you get the drift.

And most of the time I get them right. Of course there are cases where "Nerd" becomes “Pervert” or “Average Jane” is actually “Androgynous guy”.

But I stress on the operative phrase, “most of the time”.

But there is one group where I am never wrong in my initial condemnation. There was this once I thought I was but I was mistaken. Anyway, I usually conduct my 2-step judgment when it comes to this group.


One – to look at their faces, two – to hear them speak and forever banish them from my reality.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you “SMART ALECKS”.

For convenience’s sake, this group shall be referred to as, ‘Smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap.”


I absolutely hate “smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap”.

Really.

I am sure you have had the misfortune of encountering “smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap”. They have an opinion on everything and they believe it is their god given right as “smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap” to share them with everyone and educate them in their loud, self-righteous voice.

Come on, I am sure you have met their kind. Nod your head with me.

Hey I am all for sharing opinions and encouraging diverse views but to interrupt someone in the middle of speaking to voice your objection? Come on, even “Pervert” group gets more respect than you “smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap”.

I leave with you the immortal phrase of Mark Twain, “It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.”

But I guess it doesn’t really apply to “smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap”. Well because they are smart.

Oh wait.

Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.

From the deep dark forgotten depths I shall rise,
To promise vengeance and violence to the vile,
Angst and anarchy my vendetta will strive
Descending doom no damsel can beguile.

Desolate, deafening the dark will be,
A cold swift blade shall seek,
That weakness within your knees,
Like a wasted weasel you shall reek.

*MRT aunties, I'm looking at you.

Just like me you got needs
And they're only a whisper away
And we softly surrender
To these lives that we've tendered away

Don't you know I feel the darkness closing in
Tried to be more than me
And I gave till it all went away
And we've only surrendered
To the worst part of these winters we've made.

It never rains. It pours. It fucking pours.