manipulating words to fit your purposes have never been a difficulty, at times it was seen more as a challenge than an obstacle. but lately, words seem to be failing you. in the past where you can seemingly conjure up a thunderstorm with a single word to now, where even making your feelings known seem to take eternity. with your only avenue of redemption wiped out, you have no other choice but to withdraw deeper, smiling and nodding as you waste your life away. their eyes linger on your face, wondering, searching, hurting. but you look away, you know better now. thier beguling faces make your heart skip a beat and you call for restrain. no, you are not going down there anymore. you have been down many times. too many times. but as you struggle for calm, that sickening voice whispers again. "maybe, just maybe this time it would be fine."

and the cycle continues.