Distant Fantasies

Every night I would gaze up at you, and search for traces that may perhaps provide me with the very reasons for why I exist. I yield a futile search as you would always look the same. Cold, distant and unreachable. Why do I sense this aura of loneliness that you are emanating? Could it be that I am more like you than I believe I would be? Am I cold and distant? Am I an enigma that nobody could ever decipher? Maybe I am just a passer-by that no one would take a second look at. I am speechless when it comes to giving reasons to explain my fascination with you. I am helpless when it comes to resisting the temptation of forming fantasies. Have you really existed since the creation of time? Were you there when Adam first learnt how to rhyme? Did you wish me goodnight during my first night on Earth? Did you feel the sorrow upon the discovery of the non-existence of love? Can you help me count how many stars are there in the night sky? Can you freeze this moment in time so that the beauty of you would be etched forever in mind? Can you help me keep my fantasies safe and tight no matter how distant they are? So many questions and no answers. Somebody please free me from this unspeakable sorrow..


P.S: bon voyage Nas, be safe.


"When I wake up alone, the shades are still drawn on the cold window pane so they cast their lines on my bed and lines on my face."