didnt really have a post in mind, but i felt that i needed this, so here goes.

i dunno wats happening. i didnt know i was that vulnerable. i was suppose to be immune. i cant explain anything, its beyond me. it seems that everything just went through my denfenses and delivered a blow to the core of my heart and it hurt, yes it did. suddenly i feel so bare in the eye of this new emotion. never did i realise that i am actually so goddamn vulnerable. so now i am staring at the screen and typing nonsensical nothings while my brain is still able to function. i have this enigmatic feeling that just keeps gnawing at ur heart until ur heart fades into nothingness and finally there is nothing left. i guess i really overestimated myself. "why?" you ask, "why all this angst?". I dunno, i really dun know. everything's such a mess right now, i'm getting lost trying to figure them out. it sldn't have hurt that much junming, it sldnt have hurt at all.

before anybody reads too much into this post, pls bear in mind that this is my feelings talking. pls i dun want any finger-ponting, guessing or anything. i'm writing wat i'm feeling right now and not at anybody or anything else.