Perhaps I know why it is man alone who laughs: He alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter. i hate smiling to pretend that i'm not hurt. i hate to giggle to show that i'm ok. i hate to laugh after i cry. i hate all these because it's just one big lie. defenses are stripped to the bare minimum. excess baggage follow you around. tired, drained, exhausted. you need a breather, someone to hear you out. but as much as you want to, there's somethin holding you back. you realise you don't even know what to talk about. would they understand the gibberish that you dish out? sometimes there's just too much to say that in the end you give up trying to convey. you are only human. you seek solace. but from what, from where, from whom? maybe some thing. maybe some where, maybe some one. maybe no one.

i need you