suddenly i realised the shadow has lifted. no longer am i haunted by the ghost of the past. for the first time since a long time i am at peace with myself and the decision i had made. there were no "what ifs" and "maybes" this time around. there were no useless speculations, only sincere blessings and genuine smiles with no tears hidden behind.

looking back, i realised that i will most probably make the same choices if i ever had the chance to do it all over again. the choices made me wat i am today. the choices made me grow up (i hope), more mature (i hope), less naive (definitely) and certainly less emotional in a sense, i've become quite cynical i guess.

Regrets? sure i do have regrets. the words i never really got to say, the things i never did, the "what ifs" and 'maybes" and so much more. but no, i dun think i ever regretted. because at the end of the day, i believe that these things do happen for a reason, because at the end of the day i believe my choices were worth the consequences.

such magnanimous words, i know that i am not this ever-forgiving sage that dis post is making me out to be. i do bear grudges. Maybe it's because for the 1st time in a very long time that i am at peace with myself. Maybe it's because for the 1st time since a very long time i can look at the mirror and say that i had let go.

"If I would have known my heart would break, I would have loved you anyway."

Dear blog,
the house was goddamn bloody huge! they even have a home theatre system with individual armchairs!..it is times like this when you realize that life really does suck..oh well..many thanx to G for the dinner and also the mahjong game after that..

ever wondered why your mood is somehow related to how people you really do care about feel? when you know that all's well in their lives, you will unconsciously feel happy too. when u get to know that they have some problems and worries that they cant get their mind off, you wld inadvertently be affected by it. the urge to share their burden and tears immediately comes to you even though it may not even be ur business. have u wondered why den? y do the feelings of the person that u care about affect u tht much? do u sometimes just want to give tht person a hug and tell tht person that everything will be alright? even if u are not even sure wat really happened in the 1st place? cuz all u hope is tht person(or persons) will feel better. well, i have. although i'm also stumped when asked the reason why. there's no reason. i just do.

Anyways, just discovered that cold beer on a stomach that is nursing a hangover is a big definite no no, learnt about this the hard way today. so bonne nuit my friend.

Hugo Boss Intense


I know i used to (and i still do) have this special liking for the fragrance that comes from a woman's hair. i dunno, women just emits this unique fragrance from their hair naturally..it's so unfair sometimes. i lurrve women with pretty and sweet smelling hair. It just adds to the whole package and yes, it's definitely a major turn on...:p.

however, today i just discovered another fragrance that would bring me to my knees. It is none other than hugo boss intense. the scent is so..how do you describe it?..seductive but not overpowering..the scent really plays on ur senses and it's like "come get me, if u can.". u can really get drunk from the scent..go try it someday and u'd know my feelings.

So, if u are a girl and has pretty and nice smelling hair and also uses hugo boss INTENSE..honey, i'm your man.

nothing like the good old sea breeze and some solitude to lighten the gnawing in ur hrt and all those pent up frustrations..

"close your eyes, listen to the waves, may it wash away, if not all, then some of your worries."

For u, if u are bogged down by frustrations and worries. Cheer up, tml will be a better day.

The dummies' guide on how to prevent yourself from peeing on a cab even though you are on extreme high tide:

1. Sit straight and dun slouch. So that ur bladder will not be burdened by extra weight and you wld not be affected tht much sld the cab brake suddenly. Rmb every second counts.
2. Take short and rapid breaths. Long breaths will make the trip unbearable and may force your pee out.
3. Loosen any tight buckles around ur waist
4. Be calm. Focus on how are you going to release yourslf once u alight and not on the fact tht ur pee is threatening to leak out in any moment.
5. Forget abt ur change. There will be hell to pay than just the few dollars if u sld pee in the uncle's cab.

If everything fails, pls dun aim at the taxi driver..:p..



"if my thoughts of you were measured in flowers, i could walk in my garden forever."

didnt really have a post in mind, but i felt that i needed this, so here goes.

i dunno wats happening. i didnt know i was that vulnerable. i was suppose to be immune. i cant explain anything, its beyond me. it seems that everything just went through my denfenses and delivered a blow to the core of my heart and it hurt, yes it did. suddenly i feel so bare in the eye of this new emotion. never did i realise that i am actually so goddamn vulnerable. so now i am staring at the screen and typing nonsensical nothings while my brain is still able to function. i have this enigmatic feeling that just keeps gnawing at ur heart until ur heart fades into nothingness and finally there is nothing left. i guess i really overestimated myself. "why?" you ask, "why all this angst?". I dunno, i really dun know. everything's such a mess right now, i'm getting lost trying to figure them out. it sldn't have hurt that much junming, it sldnt have hurt at all.

before anybody reads too much into this post, pls bear in mind that this is my feelings talking. pls i dun want any finger-ponting, guessing or anything. i'm writing wat i'm feeling right now and not at anybody or anything else.

Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You have come to journey's end

Sleep now
Dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across a distant shore

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away

Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?

Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come
To carry you home

Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time

Don't say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again

And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping


Happy Birthday Nas, hope your wishes would be fulfilled..:p..Take lotsa care..

Dear blog,
went to Induz3 on friday night and i still maintain my low opinion towards clubbing. i do not really understand how those people can stand the incessant pounding of unbearably loud music..Needless to say i downed my fair share of alcohol, hey its free ya, of course must drink more. Dunno which fool gave me a glass of gin mixed with soda water. That sld be the weirdest and lousiest drink i ever drank. Gin should be mixed with tonic water or 7 up, seldom or sld i say never with soda water..In the end the bourbon coke was the best man. Jack Daniels remains the top bourbon (or whisky) for me.

When the government authorised bartop dancing, they neglected a condition so glaring they may come to regret it..they sld have stated that only women with acceptable figures and faces are allowed to do bartop dancing, so that those below can have a pleasant time drinking..I almost choked on my drink when i saw a POWERBOMB and i mean POWERBOMB heaved herself onto the bartop and starting twisting her body..god..she lookd like an oversized hippopotamus..:p..ok ok. I know i sound real shallow but oh well thats the truth..

Finally, for those who wanted to know what antics i did when i became drunk would be utterly disappointed. I was not drunk. Hopefully my alcohol tolerance has risen another notch or maybe its because i didn mix booze with alcohol..oh well..


"You want nothing more than this death. I see it in your eyes. But I cannot let you. We had come too far. We had held on for too long. Reach! You cannot let go. You cannot leave me."

Dear blog,
finally, the problem is fixed although i dun really know exactly how. Accessed the blogs when i returned from sch and discovered that everything works perfectly.

Anyway, there is a stupid module call STATISTICS that i have to take this semester. And its full of freaking formulas! Its like mathematics all over again..somebody just shoot me. The lecturer then has the cheek to say that stats is different from maths. Well, i beg to DIFFER. Everything that deals with numbers is maths. As i've told yiwen, maths = stats, maths = fail, therefore stats = fail. The end is near. Even the stupid textbook is different, so must but cant get it from other people. What is this man! Before i forget, there are tutorial questions to do. God, guess i have to start to copy homework all over again like those secondary sch years. DAMN.

Finally, i discovered all teachers that teaches subjects related to maths always same the same thing. " This is actually not difficult, this subject is actually the subject that you can easily score a distinction. As long as you work consistently, you will have no problems passing." Blah blah blah...From miss koh to this stats lecturer(cant rmb his name), they say the same things. Stop it already!

"dun lead me to the dizzying heights of heaven..then leave me crashing rapidly thru the abyss of hell.."

Dear blog,
apologies for not updating on my blog for quite some time. There seems to be a major problem with my internet connection. I cant seem to vist any blog websites. Everytime i try to open my blog or any other blogs, my computer automatically redirects me to the blogger homepage. God dammit man. I have tried everything, from emailing blogger to calling singnet, to no avail. Really dunno wats the problem. So needless to say i cant visit any of my fwens blogs too, forgive me if u think that i MIA for very long..btw, many thanks to the singnet lady. Although the problem still exists, thanks for being so patient throughout the conversation..u have a nice voice..:p

A year older, a year sader. Happy New Year to all.

"If you should ever find someone new, he knows he better be good to you. Cuz if he's not, then i'll be there."