Tommy Tiernan is my new hero.
Sleeping on the couch tonight? Now you know why.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Shut The Fuck Up
I place great emphasis on first impressions. That is not the same as judging a book by its cover and condemning them to eternal exile.
Most of the time.
I usually step into a new environment with my whole arsenal of stereotypes locked and loaded. Painstakingly I would survey the faces and file them away in suitable categories such as, "Mummy's Girl", "Funny guy", "Guy who thinks he is funny", "Girl who thinks she's so hot I should kiss the ground she walks on", "Nerd", "Gamer", "Average Joe/Jane"..
Well you get the drift.
And most of the time I get them right. Of course there are cases where "Nerd" becomes “Pervert” or “Average Jane” is actually “Androgynous guy”.
But I stress on the operative phrase, “most of the time”.
But there is one group where I am never wrong in my initial condemnation. There was this once I thought I was but I was mistaken. Anyway, I usually conduct my 2-step judgment when it comes to this group.
One – to look at their faces, two – to hear them speak and forever banish them from my reality.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you “SMART ALECKS”.
For convenience’s sake, this group shall be referred to as, ‘Smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap.”
I absolutely hate “smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap”.
Really.
I am sure you have had the misfortune of encountering “smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap”. They have an opinion on everything and they believe it is their god given right as “smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap” to share them with everyone and educate them in their loud, self-righteous voice.
Come on, I am sure you have met their kind. Nod your head with me.
Hey I am all for sharing opinions and encouraging diverse views but to interrupt someone in the middle of speaking to voice your objection? Come on, even “Pervert” group gets more respect than you “smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap”.
I leave with you the immortal phrase of Mark Twain, “It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.”
But I guess it doesn’t really apply to “smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap”. Well because they are smart.
Oh wait.
I place great emphasis on first impressions. That is not the same as judging a book by its cover and condemning them to eternal exile.
Most of the time.
I usually step into a new environment with my whole arsenal of stereotypes locked and loaded. Painstakingly I would survey the faces and file them away in suitable categories such as, "Mummy's Girl", "Funny guy", "Guy who thinks he is funny", "Girl who thinks she's so hot I should kiss the ground she walks on", "Nerd", "Gamer", "Average Joe/Jane"..
Well you get the drift.
And most of the time I get them right. Of course there are cases where "Nerd" becomes “Pervert” or “Average Jane” is actually “Androgynous guy”.
But I stress on the operative phrase, “most of the time”.
But there is one group where I am never wrong in my initial condemnation. There was this once I thought I was but I was mistaken. Anyway, I usually conduct my 2-step judgment when it comes to this group.
One – to look at their faces, two – to hear them speak and forever banish them from my reality.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you “SMART ALECKS”.
For convenience’s sake, this group shall be referred to as, ‘Smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap.”
I absolutely hate “smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap”.
Really.
I am sure you have had the misfortune of encountering “smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap”. They have an opinion on everything and they believe it is their god given right as “smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap” to share them with everyone and educate them in their loud, self-righteous voice.
Come on, I am sure you have met their kind. Nod your head with me.
Hey I am all for sharing opinions and encouraging diverse views but to interrupt someone in the middle of speaking to voice your objection? Come on, even “Pervert” group gets more respect than you “smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap”.
I leave with you the immortal phrase of Mark Twain, “It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.”
But I guess it doesn’t really apply to “smart asses who really think they are smart and cannot shut their gap”. Well because they are smart.
Oh wait.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.
From the deep dark forgotten depths I shall rise,
To promise vengeance and violence to the vile,
Angst and anarchy my vendetta will strive
Descending doom no damsel can beguile.
Desolate, deafening the dark will be,
A cold swift blade shall seek,
That weakness within your knees,
Like a wasted weasel you shall reek.
*MRT aunties, I'm looking at you.
From the deep dark forgotten depths I shall rise,
To promise vengeance and violence to the vile,
Angst and anarchy my vendetta will strive
Descending doom no damsel can beguile.
Desolate, deafening the dark will be,
A cold swift blade shall seek,
That weakness within your knees,
Like a wasted weasel you shall reek.
*MRT aunties, I'm looking at you.