Grab a seat, the best is yet to come
Yes, it has been awhile.
From the news, I realised today was the anniversary of the tsunami disaster. It's funny how time seems to creep up unknowingly and tap you on the shoulder. And before you know it, people who used to be there are gone. Forever.
As this day of remembrance where people raise voices to honour the past, pray tell did they succeed in uncovering memories that brought a wistful smile or a single tear?
Memories.
Infinite, melancholic, breathtaking - No place in the universe can give you this exhilaration of walking down memory lane.
The other issue that has been hogging the headlines will be the NKF issue.
As the cliche so says, It was a PR disaster.
It is truly sobering that this whole shebang was only uncovered because Durai was too big for his own shoes and decided to play way above his head. So much for the checks and balances and regulations, in the end everyone concerned was served a general helping of humble pies. Imagine if the CEO decided not to sue for defamation and instead, decided to release a statement saying how disappointed he is that people are trying to make NKF look bad even though the organisation has helped about "insert any number that Durai suggests" who are in need of help.
His standing would have risen and reputation cemented. Something to think about, if it can happen to one organisation, who is to say this has not happened or is happening at other places?
And the excuses or more correctly, rebuttals are really funny. I wont bore you with them, you all should know how lame the excuses were.
Speaking about excuses. Sometimes it absolutely amazes me how some people come out with excuses that are so plain fucking ridculous. And here is something more unbelievable, they expect you to go along and actually accept these lies, oh sorry, I mean excuses.
Come on, we are not dumbasses. We can smell crappy lies, dammit sorry, I mean excuses before they leave your bloody mouth. So give us a break, just tell the truth.
And oh yes. Remember if you have read till here, you have willingly subjected yourself to my opinions and thrash. Please keep in mind I do not force any thoughts and opinions down your throat. You don't find a huge pop-up while you're surfing the net with my comments on them. You dont find emails with huge links threatening you to visit this space.
So if you read something that made you go all squeaky and say "Fish!" or "Freaking hell!". Tough luck.
Don't you hate people who say fish, freaking hell and type "F***"? I mean if you wanna swear, then swear with gusto.
FUCK. See the world is still here.
Merry Christmas everybody.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Time Of Your Life
sometimes one moment arrives when you just have no idea what to say or write but feel that you have to do so anyway.
This is such a moment. As I can't find no better way, here is the lyrics of my old time favourite.
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life
sometimes one moment arrives when you just have no idea what to say or write but feel that you have to do so anyway.
This is such a moment. As I can't find no better way, here is the lyrics of my old time favourite.
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life
Monday, December 05, 2005
Saturday, October 22, 2005
FOOLS : The Gathering
Sometimes I don't understand how ridiculous people can get. I mean they are so lacking in brain juice that I want to pry open thier heads to see if they actually have brains or do their heads serve as glorified water bottles
Which I did.
These are some of the people whom drenched me in their brainless water when I split open thier heads.
1. Saddam Hussien
He started the trial by claiming he is still the president of Iraq.
What?
It is almost sad to see the person who is smart enough to have numerous doubles to die in his place fall into such a self-delusional wreck. His list of accomplishments includes killing, forced expulsion, the imprisonment of people, torture and the failure to comply with international law. Heck, he single-handedly started the Gulf War.
I can see the logic in pleading innocence to the charges. If a man has to go, he has to go down fighting. But claiming he is still President?
If you are still the President, why don't you order the judge to resign and go home. Oh wait, you don't accept resignations, I heard you only accept death certificates.
Why is he facing a trial ANYWAY? I don't remember him granting any constitutional or human rights when he went on massacres.
A tragic car accident or a bullet in the head would have been much easier.
Maybe he got raped in the prison while bending down to take a bar of soap.
HMM.
2. CNN
They have a poll asking readers if they think Saddam would have a fair trial.
Enough Said.
3. Asshole who moaned about service tax
When I say 'Asshole' I'm using it loosely because I can't really find a word to describe a person who has the balls to try and bitch and whine about service tax and he didnt have to pay since he recieved no service.
By saying that he received no service, I deduced a few things.
1. He seated himself.
2. He went to the counter to get the menu.
3. After making his choice, he made his way to the counter and ordered himself.
4. Subsequently, he paid and took his orders himself and returned to his table.
My apologies if I have to show the step-by-step guide on what to do at fast-food restaurants.
But I begged his pardon and listed the things I did.
1. I brought him the menu and told him which is the food menu and which is the drink menu.
2. I took his order while he settled his ass on the chair.
3. I brought him an ash tray without him asking.
4. I SERVED him his drinks.
5. I provided cutlery and napkins while he seated and waited for his food to be SERVED.
6. I SERVED him his burger.
5. I brought the bill to his table to save him the trouble of walking.
Oh he paid alright but what I dont understand is why are these people acting like they have durian shells up their asses about service charge? You know damn well that there is a service charge when you entered. So what is all the FUCKING hoo-hah about?
And please do not launch in a tirade about how the service was crap and below-par and thus there is no need to pay. Well eat shit and die asshole, because technically you were SERVED.
I hope he returns so I can provide him with excellence service.
I can't wait.
Sometimes I don't understand how ridiculous people can get. I mean they are so lacking in brain juice that I want to pry open thier heads to see if they actually have brains or do their heads serve as glorified water bottles
Which I did.
These are some of the people whom drenched me in their brainless water when I split open thier heads.
1. Saddam Hussien
He started the trial by claiming he is still the president of Iraq.
What?
It is almost sad to see the person who is smart enough to have numerous doubles to die in his place fall into such a self-delusional wreck. His list of accomplishments includes killing, forced expulsion, the imprisonment of people, torture and the failure to comply with international law. Heck, he single-handedly started the Gulf War.
I can see the logic in pleading innocence to the charges. If a man has to go, he has to go down fighting. But claiming he is still President?
If you are still the President, why don't you order the judge to resign and go home. Oh wait, you don't accept resignations, I heard you only accept death certificates.
Why is he facing a trial ANYWAY? I don't remember him granting any constitutional or human rights when he went on massacres.
A tragic car accident or a bullet in the head would have been much easier.
Maybe he got raped in the prison while bending down to take a bar of soap.
HMM.
2. CNN
They have a poll asking readers if they think Saddam would have a fair trial.
Enough Said.
3. Asshole who moaned about service tax
When I say 'Asshole' I'm using it loosely because I can't really find a word to describe a person who has the balls to try and bitch and whine about service tax and he didnt have to pay since he recieved no service.
By saying that he received no service, I deduced a few things.
1. He seated himself.
2. He went to the counter to get the menu.
3. After making his choice, he made his way to the counter and ordered himself.
4. Subsequently, he paid and took his orders himself and returned to his table.
My apologies if I have to show the step-by-step guide on what to do at fast-food restaurants.
But I begged his pardon and listed the things I did.
1. I brought him the menu and told him which is the food menu and which is the drink menu.
2. I took his order while he settled his ass on the chair.
3. I brought him an ash tray without him asking.
4. I SERVED him his drinks.
5. I provided cutlery and napkins while he seated and waited for his food to be SERVED.
6. I SERVED him his burger.
5. I brought the bill to his table to save him the trouble of walking.
Oh he paid alright but what I dont understand is why are these people acting like they have durian shells up their asses about service charge? You know damn well that there is a service charge when you entered. So what is all the FUCKING hoo-hah about?
And please do not launch in a tirade about how the service was crap and below-par and thus there is no need to pay. Well eat shit and die asshole, because technically you were SERVED.
I hope he returns so I can provide him with excellence service.
I can't wait.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Here We Go Again
Even now i'm still torn between being satisfied on a job well done and realising that i have to go through all the shit again sooner rather than later.
But anyhow, i know this is belated but great job guys.
you all know who you are.
i admit my response was less than insipiring but i'm sure i did nothing to take away the credit everyone deserved. some more than others. pun intended.
i swear another fake smile or laugh will cause my premature demise. i'll rather do something less torturous, like sitting on durian shells.
So i was surfing through the net and slacking (deservedly) and i came across this piece. and i have to say this guy knows his shit.
Phrases that make my blood boil
Girls usually say this when they think they're being clever: "sorry, but you're a moron." It's a phrase derived from the expression people use when they're breaking some bad news to an old friend: "I'm sorry to say this, but the results are back and... you're an idiot." The only problem is, they never intend to say it with such eloquence, but rather, they use the phrase like it's a blunt object, hammering their square insult through your round psyche. If you think someone's an idiot, just come out and say it without these pussy apologies you dumb hag. Unless you're a character in a fighting game, have big boobs, and just won the round with a bitch slap, saying "sorry" just before you insult someone is obnoxious, cut the bullshit.
yeah i can see you nodding too.
Even now i'm still torn between being satisfied on a job well done and realising that i have to go through all the shit again sooner rather than later.
But anyhow, i know this is belated but great job guys.
you all know who you are.
i admit my response was less than insipiring but i'm sure i did nothing to take away the credit everyone deserved. some more than others. pun intended.
i swear another fake smile or laugh will cause my premature demise. i'll rather do something less torturous, like sitting on durian shells.
So i was surfing through the net and slacking (deservedly) and i came across this piece. and i have to say this guy knows his shit.
Phrases that make my blood boil
Girls usually say this when they think they're being clever: "sorry, but you're a moron." It's a phrase derived from the expression people use when they're breaking some bad news to an old friend: "I'm sorry to say this, but the results are back and... you're an idiot." The only problem is, they never intend to say it with such eloquence, but rather, they use the phrase like it's a blunt object, hammering their square insult through your round psyche. If you think someone's an idiot, just come out and say it without these pussy apologies you dumb hag. Unless you're a character in a fighting game, have big boobs, and just won the round with a bitch slap, saying "sorry" just before you insult someone is obnoxious, cut the bullshit.
yeah i can see you nodding too.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Food For Thought
"Love? Oh, I imagine that's taken for granted although rarely expressed. Perhaps it's the comfort of being familiar, although, again, hardly with grand passion. One does not have to finish a sentence to be understood, and a look in the eyes will bring on laughter without a word being said. It comes with the years, i suppose."
"I want the years that you had, old man. I want them very vey much."
Don't we all.
"Love? Oh, I imagine that's taken for granted although rarely expressed. Perhaps it's the comfort of being familiar, although, again, hardly with grand passion. One does not have to finish a sentence to be understood, and a look in the eyes will bring on laughter without a word being said. It comes with the years, i suppose."
"I want the years that you had, old man. I want them very vey much."
Don't we all.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
4 years back in time
time flies.
it has been 4 years since the september 11 attacks. i could still remember the utter disbelief when i first heard it on the radio, believing it was some sort of a prank. it sent shockwaves througout the globe and the world was neer the same again.
it was a though that it was some sort of a platform for other things to start. since then, we have had the london bombings, iraq stampede etc. it is now common news when aeroplanes crash planes seem to drop every week.
i decided to resurrect one of my former posts that i took from somewhere. it was written by someone whose close ones perished in the sept 11 attack.
If I knew
If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would know I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well, I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret this day.
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear.
time flies.
it has been 4 years since the september 11 attacks. i could still remember the utter disbelief when i first heard it on the radio, believing it was some sort of a prank. it sent shockwaves througout the globe and the world was neer the same again.
it was a though that it was some sort of a platform for other things to start. since then, we have had the london bombings, iraq stampede etc. it is now common news when aeroplanes crash planes seem to drop every week.
i decided to resurrect one of my former posts that i took from somewhere. it was written by someone whose close ones perished in the sept 11 attack.
If I knew
If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would know I do.
If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well, I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret this day.
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
this time what I want is you
there is no one else
who can take your place
this time you burn me with your eyes
you see past all the lies
you take it all away
I've seen it all
and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you
don't give up on me yet
don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
but don't let
me stay here alone
If you think my eyes are beautiful, it's because they are looking at you.
there is no one else
who can take your place
this time you burn me with your eyes
you see past all the lies
you take it all away
I've seen it all
and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you
don't give up on me yet
don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
but don't let
me stay here alone
If you think my eyes are beautiful, it's because they are looking at you.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
When was the last time you said "I Love You"?
From a recent focus group, this is what my friends have to say about me.
"whnever i'm online, i'm invisible. whn he wans to do survey, i am visible. aft e survey, i am invisible again."
guilty. but i'm not proud of it.
i realise that work has become my enforced number one priority. There are moments when i stop and take stock and realise that this shouldnt be the way. but i'm still stuck in this shit cycle that has no beginning nor end.
Talking about workload. apparently according to some people who talks in a unbearable fake PR way that makes my skin craw,l says that actually our workload is not enough. and some areas should have more work and involvement.
My reaction
--> EAT SHIT AND DIE!
i hate veiled barbs and barely conceled innuendoes. i prefer straight talking criticisms that hit you straight in the face. at least you can see the blow coming and take it like a man. if you're unhappy, FFF just say you're unhappy.
*breathes
sorry, i digress.
moving on..
I have missed gatherings and birthday moments all in the name of work. so much so that 'work' has become an easy excuse to dish out. I dont mean i was lying just that whenever something comes up i reject it outright because i believe there are many things to be done or maybe simply because i dont wish to go.
so to all the focus groups, you guys have been great respondents to my surveys but thats only one area you guys do well. there are many more. trust me
remember just because someone doesnt love you the way you want, doesnt mean they dont love you with all they've got.
it's been a long time since i have the TGIF feeling.
2 more weeks. 2 more goddamned weeks.
From a recent focus group, this is what my friends have to say about me.
"whnever i'm online, i'm invisible. whn he wans to do survey, i am visible. aft e survey, i am invisible again."
guilty. but i'm not proud of it.
i realise that work has become my enforced number one priority. There are moments when i stop and take stock and realise that this shouldnt be the way. but i'm still stuck in this shit cycle that has no beginning nor end.
Talking about workload. apparently according to some people who talks in a unbearable fake PR way that makes my skin craw,l says that actually our workload is not enough. and some areas should have more work and involvement.
My reaction
--> EAT SHIT AND DIE!
i hate veiled barbs and barely conceled innuendoes. i prefer straight talking criticisms that hit you straight in the face. at least you can see the blow coming and take it like a man. if you're unhappy, FFF just say you're unhappy.
*breathes
sorry, i digress.
moving on..
I have missed gatherings and birthday moments all in the name of work. so much so that 'work' has become an easy excuse to dish out. I dont mean i was lying just that whenever something comes up i reject it outright because i believe there are many things to be done or maybe simply because i dont wish to go.
so to all the focus groups, you guys have been great respondents to my surveys but thats only one area you guys do well. there are many more. trust me
remember just because someone doesnt love you the way you want, doesnt mean they dont love you with all they've got.
it's been a long time since i have the TGIF feeling.
2 more weeks. 2 more goddamned weeks.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Monday, August 22, 2005
Window to the past
a bus ride down memory lane
the place between pleasure and pain
outside
the scenes
past and present
assault my senses
wistfulness played
across my lips
as a familiar tune
sounded within the
pockets of my mind
so many times
so many ways
and all the moments
that passed us by
yet all we could do is
heave a sigh
and be thankful
that everything we will keep
till the day we die.
it's something unpredictable and yet in the end it's right.
i hope you have the time of your life.
*oh i hate clubbing. still
a bus ride down memory lane
the place between pleasure and pain
outside
the scenes
past and present
assault my senses
wistfulness played
across my lips
as a familiar tune
sounded within the
pockets of my mind
so many times
so many ways
and all the moments
that passed us by
yet all we could do is
heave a sigh
and be thankful
that everything we will keep
till the day we die.
it's something unpredictable and yet in the end it's right.
i hope you have the time of your life.
*oh i hate clubbing. still
Thursday, August 18, 2005
They aren't that indispensable you know.
I came across this article not long ago and it's quite interesting.
5 types of women that you should never ever date.
1. The Chronic Cheater
Never date a chronic cheater. Even though attraction has alot to do with whether a woman cheats on you or not (a woman will be less likely to cheat on you if she's CRAZY about you), some women are more prone to cheating. It's just in their DNA/character and they can't help it. The moment you turn your back on her and a hot stud (or even a not-so-hot guy) walks by, she's going to want him. and guess who cleans up the mess?
2. The Golddigger
You should never ever buy stuff just to impress women and gain their approval. buy them because you want to. on your terms. if she dares to ask you to buy her expensive things, it's time to lay the smack down and throw her out.
3. The Baggage Girl
Baggage women are even worse than golddiggers. Golddiggers take your money, which you could always earn back. But baggage girls drain you of your energy until you end up feeling depressed like her.
Relationships are already hard enough to sustain with a "healthy" woman, so dating a woman with a lot of emotional baggage is like preparing your own funeral. It's like carrying a rigged time bomb around your pocket, not knowing when it will explode.
4. The Self-Proclaimed Princess
The self-proclaimed princess is a spoiled little brat who is too used to getting everything and anything she wants in life. Rich parents, good looks, plenty of suitors to serenade her. She breaks a nail and she wants you to drive her to the nail salon immediately. Cooking and doing house chores are fine as long as you're the one doing it. She just wants to sit there and wait for you to massage her feet.
You can date a princess if she is flexible and willing to fit herself into your world. But if she doesn't, then it's time to kick her into the air, back to the top of the castle tower where she belongs.
5. The Chronic Bitch
Pessimistic women are poisonous and a definite no no. They argue about EVERYTHING and once married, their favorite hobby is making their men feel guilty. Yeah thats you, Bronco.
side note from me: remember a beautiful face does not mean a wondeful personality. we often fall for the trap that just because a woman is hot/beautiful/gorgeous we think that they have great characters and personalities.
"But she's so beautiful! how would i know she is.."
ever said that? that's when the shit hits the fan and you discover how terribly wrong the assumption was. just because a woman is beautiful does not mean people have to kiss the chair she sat on.
I came across this article not long ago and it's quite interesting.
5 types of women that you should never ever date.
1. The Chronic Cheater
Never date a chronic cheater. Even though attraction has alot to do with whether a woman cheats on you or not (a woman will be less likely to cheat on you if she's CRAZY about you), some women are more prone to cheating. It's just in their DNA/character and they can't help it. The moment you turn your back on her and a hot stud (or even a not-so-hot guy) walks by, she's going to want him. and guess who cleans up the mess?
2. The Golddigger
You should never ever buy stuff just to impress women and gain their approval. buy them because you want to. on your terms. if she dares to ask you to buy her expensive things, it's time to lay the smack down and throw her out.
3. The Baggage Girl
Baggage women are even worse than golddiggers. Golddiggers take your money, which you could always earn back. But baggage girls drain you of your energy until you end up feeling depressed like her.
Relationships are already hard enough to sustain with a "healthy" woman, so dating a woman with a lot of emotional baggage is like preparing your own funeral. It's like carrying a rigged time bomb around your pocket, not knowing when it will explode.
4. The Self-Proclaimed Princess
The self-proclaimed princess is a spoiled little brat who is too used to getting everything and anything she wants in life. Rich parents, good looks, plenty of suitors to serenade her. She breaks a nail and she wants you to drive her to the nail salon immediately. Cooking and doing house chores are fine as long as you're the one doing it. She just wants to sit there and wait for you to massage her feet.
You can date a princess if she is flexible and willing to fit herself into your world. But if she doesn't, then it's time to kick her into the air, back to the top of the castle tower where she belongs.
5. The Chronic Bitch
Pessimistic women are poisonous and a definite no no. They argue about EVERYTHING and once married, their favorite hobby is making their men feel guilty. Yeah thats you, Bronco.
side note from me: remember a beautiful face does not mean a wondeful personality. we often fall for the trap that just because a woman is hot/beautiful/gorgeous we think that they have great characters and personalities.
"But she's so beautiful! how would i know she is.."
ever said that? that's when the shit hits the fan and you discover how terribly wrong the assumption was. just because a woman is beautiful does not mean people have to kiss the chair she sat on.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
sometimes i blog hop. i come across different themes from people yabbering about breakups to those voyueristic weirdos who like to tell everybody what they do from the moment they wake up to the minute they hit the sack. seriously i dont know why they do that. there they are screaming and whining for privacy from their parents and then they decide that the rest of the world can share their life. makes you scratch your head. but hey, who says the world is logical anyway?
if you're with me. i need a silent nod here.
sorry, i digress.
well, it's fine by me. ultimately its your website and you're entitled to your say. even those which literally stinks of narcissism, self-love, megalomania.. i think a nicer way to put it is misplaced confidence. i think i suffer from that too.
what the heck, you didnt have to know that.
but what really piss me off is when narcissism disintegrates into self-delusion and one starts thinking he is better than everyone. and actually proclaiming it to the world.
gimme a break.
maybe you're animated. hell, a monkey animates all day and is damned well more animated.
maybe you can make a woman laugh and all the others before you cant. hell, a dog can make women laugh.
if you agree. read on. if you dont. read on anyway because it's too late to turn back.
oh i can hear the indignance coming.
"well it's my blog and if you dont like it you can dont read."
thats absolute bullshit.
if you so like praising yourself and putting down others. keep a fucking diary. what i cant see. i dont care.
man, do i sound bitter or what?
on an entirely different note. i recently have a new dream. i want to become a notorious male escort where the big bucks will come rolling in. and i can shove the projects up where the sun dont shine.
and to quote from a blog i read -> "cheebye, look what has education taught us."
AMEN
if you're with me. i need a silent nod here.
sorry, i digress.
well, it's fine by me. ultimately its your website and you're entitled to your say. even those which literally stinks of narcissism, self-love, megalomania.. i think a nicer way to put it is misplaced confidence. i think i suffer from that too.
what the heck, you didnt have to know that.
but what really piss me off is when narcissism disintegrates into self-delusion and one starts thinking he is better than everyone. and actually proclaiming it to the world.
gimme a break.
maybe you're animated. hell, a monkey animates all day and is damned well more animated.
maybe you can make a woman laugh and all the others before you cant. hell, a dog can make women laugh.
if you agree. read on. if you dont. read on anyway because it's too late to turn back.
oh i can hear the indignance coming.
"well it's my blog and if you dont like it you can dont read."
thats absolute bullshit.
if you so like praising yourself and putting down others. keep a fucking diary. what i cant see. i dont care.
man, do i sound bitter or what?
on an entirely different note. i recently have a new dream. i want to become a notorious male escort where the big bucks will come rolling in. and i can shove the projects up where the sun dont shine.
and to quote from a blog i read -> "cheebye, look what has education taught us."
AMEN
Friday, July 29, 2005
Drowning in a pool of blood
sometimes my enthusiasm get the better of me. we will codename enthusiasm as 'asshole' for easy reference. and it likes to show by agreeing to do slave work for other people when it knows truly well that its master is literally buried in a moutain of work.
but no.
obviously asshole has a life of its own.
"sure no problem." --> this is asshole's favourite phrase anytime, anywhere.
A: "Is it ok if you join this activity?"
--> insert asshole's favourite phrase
B: " can you help me in producing this thing?"
--> insert asshole's favourite phrase
C: "i need people can you help me?"
--> insert asshole's favourite phrase
D:" i dont really have time, can you take over me?"
--> insert asshole's favourite phrase
E: "i dont really like you. can you go kill yourself?"
--> insert asshole's favourite phrase
Well, actually E was me fantasizing. but you get the picture.
asshole is taking over my life and changing my life into an ass-filled reality. i tried to get out but the damage is already done and now asshole has left me for dead. i have to crawl out of this shit infested hole myself. asshole has made some stupid decisions that cabt be changed. well its nothing surprising, since it's an asshole. and i have to live with the decisions.
what an ASSHOLE.
somebdy shoot me please.
sometimes my enthusiasm get the better of me. we will codename enthusiasm as 'asshole' for easy reference. and it likes to show by agreeing to do slave work for other people when it knows truly well that its master is literally buried in a moutain of work.
but no.
obviously asshole has a life of its own.
"sure no problem." --> this is asshole's favourite phrase anytime, anywhere.
A: "Is it ok if you join this activity?"
--> insert asshole's favourite phrase
B: " can you help me in producing this thing?"
--> insert asshole's favourite phrase
C: "i need people can you help me?"
--> insert asshole's favourite phrase
D:" i dont really have time, can you take over me?"
--> insert asshole's favourite phrase
E: "i dont really like you. can you go kill yourself?"
--> insert asshole's favourite phrase
Well, actually E was me fantasizing. but you get the picture.
asshole is taking over my life and changing my life into an ass-filled reality. i tried to get out but the damage is already done and now asshole has left me for dead. i have to crawl out of this shit infested hole myself. asshole has made some stupid decisions that cabt be changed. well its nothing surprising, since it's an asshole. and i have to live with the decisions.
what an ASSHOLE.
somebdy shoot me please.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Thursday, June 23, 2005
FRIENDS WITH EXTRAS?
what the hell's this? friends that provide "full services"? well the excuses for getting into something like this are, "i just want to have fun", "i dont want any emotional attachments", "i dont want to be hurt" and blah blah blah yada yada yada .
what crap. what utter crap.
a friend is a friend is a friend. a lover is a lover is a lover. your lover can be your best friend not the other way round. now people want their friends to become their lovers when they feel like it. so you say everything is strictly physical. bullshit. every human being crave emotional bonds.
ok a little overreaction there. but what the hell. it's beyond my comprehension.
you cant blame me when you discover that married personnel have 'friends with extras' too. not just the male but our female counterparts have them too.
now, how the fuck do you explain this?
your husband/wife cant fulfill your needs? your insatiable sex drive needs another vessel? you experiencing the 7-year itch (apparently its 2-year now)?
what about your marriage vowels? they dont mean a thing anymore? then why say it in the beginning? how can you keep a straightface when you stare into your wife's eyes and tell her 'i love you'? or has lying became a second-nature to you already?
dammit.
i know divorce is the future tense of marraige.
but FOR FUCK'S SAKE
at least try to make it work.
what the hell's this? friends that provide "full services"? well the excuses for getting into something like this are, "i just want to have fun", "i dont want any emotional attachments", "i dont want to be hurt" and blah blah blah yada yada yada .
what crap. what utter crap.
a friend is a friend is a friend. a lover is a lover is a lover. your lover can be your best friend not the other way round. now people want their friends to become their lovers when they feel like it. so you say everything is strictly physical. bullshit. every human being crave emotional bonds.
ok a little overreaction there. but what the hell. it's beyond my comprehension.
you cant blame me when you discover that married personnel have 'friends with extras' too. not just the male but our female counterparts have them too.
now, how the fuck do you explain this?
your husband/wife cant fulfill your needs? your insatiable sex drive needs another vessel? you experiencing the 7-year itch (apparently its 2-year now)?
what about your marriage vowels? they dont mean a thing anymore? then why say it in the beginning? how can you keep a straightface when you stare into your wife's eyes and tell her 'i love you'? or has lying became a second-nature to you already?
dammit.
i know divorce is the future tense of marraige.
but FOR FUCK'S SAKE
at least try to make it work.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Salvador Dali - Figure at the window
The room lies empty now
curtains are what is left
of a life that will be
soon forgotten
she stands and gazes
at the images, she had seen before
so many times, so many ways
the gentle breeze
starts a tune beside her
and her eyes close
to hold back her emotions
and just like that
the memories came rushing
into her
the echo of the wind
howled mockingly
the deafening silence
drowns the delicate trembling of
her hands
she stands and looks
one last time
at all the things
that she had held dear
but would be forever left
behind
a single tear
escapes
as she bids
goodbye
and disappears into
the distant horizon
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
"Hmm, what'd you say,
mmm, that you only meant well?
Well, 'course you did
Hmm, what'd you say,
mmm, that it's all for the best
Of course it is
Hmm, what'd you say,
mmm, that it's just what we need
You decided this
Hmm, what'd you say,
mmm, what did she say?"
sometimes during the course of existence, you might come across something that just touches you on a whole new level. the words weaves seamlessly with your memory and form an image so stunning it's almost alive. and with that, the floodgates are unlocked and every single detail appears in front of you in with unerring accuracy. you could almost feel the night breeze and smell your favourite fragrance.
pictures, images, flow ruthlessly through your veins, making their way to the depths of your soul. with a silent scream, your resistance disappear and you succumb to the depths of darkness that swallowed you whole.
* to you: people change. and to think you, of all people decided to give me a piece of your mind. oh please.
i am not a hotel. where people can visit when they feel like it and leave when they are done with their fun.
and guess who cleans up the mess they leave behind?
it's tiring work and i will never do that again.
EVER.
* it has always been you and not me. now i know,
now i really know.
mmm, that you only meant well?
Well, 'course you did
Hmm, what'd you say,
mmm, that it's all for the best
Of course it is
Hmm, what'd you say,
mmm, that it's just what we need
You decided this
Hmm, what'd you say,
mmm, what did she say?"
sometimes during the course of existence, you might come across something that just touches you on a whole new level. the words weaves seamlessly with your memory and form an image so stunning it's almost alive. and with that, the floodgates are unlocked and every single detail appears in front of you in with unerring accuracy. you could almost feel the night breeze and smell your favourite fragrance.
pictures, images, flow ruthlessly through your veins, making their way to the depths of your soul. with a silent scream, your resistance disappear and you succumb to the depths of darkness that swallowed you whole.
* to you: people change. and to think you, of all people decided to give me a piece of your mind. oh please.
i am not a hotel. where people can visit when they feel like it and leave when they are done with their fun.
and guess who cleans up the mess they leave behind?
it's tiring work and i will never do that again.
EVER.
* it has always been you and not me. now i know,
now i really know.
Monday, May 30, 2005
recently i have come to realise that my grasp of the chinese language is incorrigible. there are instances where i discovered that i would translate english literally into chinese and use it. and that of course sounded crass and without class. all the subtle nuances and double meanings is all lost when everything is translated in chinese. and i must say that the coupe de grace would be the other party not fully understanding you and then you have to switch to a language you feel so clumsy when trying to wield it.
and this is so exasperating.
damn.
i remember from the movie Love Actually, there was this portugese lady and englishman, Aurelia and Jamie. despite not speaking each other's languages, they managed to fall in love and live happily ever after(duh).
now, lets stop here and contemplate a little.
how is that possible?
i guess Jamie just has to look deeply into Aurelia's eyes and hope that she realises that he wants fish and chips for dinner tonight.
you have been warned.
sigh
and yeah, how does one say 'fancy some stimulating conversation and wonderful company?" in chinese?
and this is so exasperating.
damn.
i remember from the movie Love Actually, there was this portugese lady and englishman, Aurelia and Jamie. despite not speaking each other's languages, they managed to fall in love and live happily ever after(duh).
now, lets stop here and contemplate a little.
how is that possible?
i guess Jamie just has to look deeply into Aurelia's eyes and hope that she realises that he wants fish and chips for dinner tonight.
you have been warned.
sigh
and yeah, how does one say 'fancy some stimulating conversation and wonderful company?" in chinese?
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
The beginning of the End
and so the end draws near, with every step it clouds the mind with dread so unfathomable that it chokes the body. you stand at the edge of the precipice and death beckons. in its hands, death offers you salvation and oblivion. at that moment, all things become clear. the darkness clears and you begin to smile.
you take the plunge.
and so the end draws near, with every step it clouds the mind with dread so unfathomable that it chokes the body. you stand at the edge of the precipice and death beckons. in its hands, death offers you salvation and oblivion. at that moment, all things become clear. the darkness clears and you begin to smile.
you take the plunge.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Sinistrality
recently i read a book about left-handedness and was glad that i wasnt born before my time. apparently besides racial, language, class discrimination, your laterality or to be specific your left-handedness is also discriminated. besides being seen as weird and not properly developed, we are also of sinister origins. left hands are also considered 'unclean' hands.
'As the right gained grounds on all fronts, inevitably, the left began to decline in acceptability, becoming associated with the more negative aspects of abnormality, darkness and wickedness.'
damn. talk about bigotry to the extreme.
i'm not done yet. moving on.
did you ever experience what i named 'handache' during long periods of writing with your hand especially during exams? do your nails dig into your index or middle finger while you hold your pen and sometimes your entire left hand becomes painful after a heavy bout of writing? how about calluses that develop from clutching your pen tightly? i have them.
'as a left hander, i must put my oar in here again and admit that exams were a nightmare, for to sit for long periods writing interminably with a pen clutched tightly in the pushing position creates cramps and muscle fatigue in the left hand, index finger and thumb not experienced by the right-hander. if the left-hander's exam scripts were seen to be shorter, it may not haven been because they wrote slowly but because they were sitting for a physical endurance test as well as a mental ability test. the sooner its over, the better.'
i'm sure glad i'm not the only one experiencing all the writing grief.
but fret not fellow lefties, we are in the league of geniuses.
some of the most prominent people in past and present were sinistrals. some of them include, Alexander the Great, Joan of Arc, Ronald Regan, Paul McCartney, Charlie Chaplin, Marilyn Monroe, Albert Einstein.
and my personal favourite.
Jack the Ripper.
and yes, he was never caught.
recently i read a book about left-handedness and was glad that i wasnt born before my time. apparently besides racial, language, class discrimination, your laterality or to be specific your left-handedness is also discriminated. besides being seen as weird and not properly developed, we are also of sinister origins. left hands are also considered 'unclean' hands.
'As the right gained grounds on all fronts, inevitably, the left began to decline in acceptability, becoming associated with the more negative aspects of abnormality, darkness and wickedness.'
damn. talk about bigotry to the extreme.
i'm not done yet. moving on.
did you ever experience what i named 'handache' during long periods of writing with your hand especially during exams? do your nails dig into your index or middle finger while you hold your pen and sometimes your entire left hand becomes painful after a heavy bout of writing? how about calluses that develop from clutching your pen tightly? i have them.
'as a left hander, i must put my oar in here again and admit that exams were a nightmare, for to sit for long periods writing interminably with a pen clutched tightly in the pushing position creates cramps and muscle fatigue in the left hand, index finger and thumb not experienced by the right-hander. if the left-hander's exam scripts were seen to be shorter, it may not haven been because they wrote slowly but because they were sitting for a physical endurance test as well as a mental ability test. the sooner its over, the better.'
i'm sure glad i'm not the only one experiencing all the writing grief.
but fret not fellow lefties, we are in the league of geniuses.
some of the most prominent people in past and present were sinistrals. some of them include, Alexander the Great, Joan of Arc, Ronald Regan, Paul McCartney, Charlie Chaplin, Marilyn Monroe, Albert Einstein.
and my personal favourite.
Jack the Ripper.
and yes, he was never caught.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Finally
thank you for re-inviting me back to the virtual world. life was absolute hell without your presence. dont you know that i fall apart without you? how could a crocked graphic card cause so much depression.
dammit.
well while you were away, i learnt one thing.
no matter how hot/babelicious/gorgeeous/whatever a woman is. they have no fucking right to expect that they will get their way everytime. it is no excuse to be obnoxious or unreasonable. just because other people kiss the chair you sit on and worship the ground you walk on does not mean i have to smile and say your flatulence smelt heavenly. wake up and smell the roses.
bitch(es)
thank you for re-inviting me back to the virtual world. life was absolute hell without your presence. dont you know that i fall apart without you? how could a crocked graphic card cause so much depression.
dammit.
well while you were away, i learnt one thing.
no matter how hot/babelicious/gorgeeous/whatever a woman is. they have no fucking right to expect that they will get their way everytime. it is no excuse to be obnoxious or unreasonable. just because other people kiss the chair you sit on and worship the ground you walk on does not mean i have to smile and say your flatulence smelt heavenly. wake up and smell the roses.
bitch(es)
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Some cracks can be felt but not seen
i remember the times
when we used to
sit by our
favourite coffee place
on the
plush red sofa
where we would
watch the world
pass us by
while
finishing off
each other's sentences
with our
raspberry fraps; caramel dreams; vanilla lattes; berrydreams
in hand
we would invite one another
into our own personal realities
where we teased at the insecurities
and laughed at the embarrassments
the world goes on around us
we are lost in time
but now
we no longer
mention the
plush red sofa
nor
have time
to enjoy our drinks
together
awkward silences
replace
the spaces
that was once
for the laughter
veiled innuendoes
and
underlying annoyance
now dominate
our conversations
easy acceptance
has surrendered to
extreme impatience
when our gazes meet
the smile that appears
never quite reach our eyes
bring me back
bring us back
to the time
where we first began
before everything
becomes
what it is slowly
becoming
a memory
*and i see you standing there, wanting more from me. but all i can do is try.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
At this moment
All hope is lost
Music and beauty
Are nothing but salt in my sadness
Pure ice sear through my veins
Leaving behind an empty white void
Who could have thought
That the angel of death
Was so cruel?
Or that known desire
Would melt this vast
Winter night into
A flood of darkness.
*and we stare at each other and i think, dont leave me.
All hope is lost
Music and beauty
Are nothing but salt in my sadness
Pure ice sear through my veins
Leaving behind an empty white void
Who could have thought
That the angel of death
Was so cruel?
Or that known desire
Would melt this vast
Winter night into
A flood of darkness.
*and we stare at each other and i think, dont leave me.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Terri Schindler has moved on
Terri Schindler died on thursday.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/03/31/schiavo/index.html
my question is, how can the husband move on like nothing happened? that's his wife getting starved and dehydrated.
did he even shed a tear for her?
Terri Schindler died on thursday.
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/03/31/schiavo/index.html
my question is, how can the husband move on like nothing happened? that's his wife getting starved and dehydrated.
did he even shed a tear for her?
Monday, March 28, 2005
Saturday, March 26, 2005
A treatise of longing
I want many things.
i want to travel the world. see things i never seen and learn languages i never knew exsited. i want to learn how to sail. to feel the wind against my face. to remind myself that the sunsets are still beautiful. i want to skydive. to leave my mark among the clouds. to feel the thrill of flying. to cheat death. i want to have superpowers. to be wolverine. to experience the feeling of invincibility. to discover what it's like to kill so dispassionately. to be so detached and yet so passionate. ruthless but with the ability to love.
i hate it when people think that the world revolves around them and that time has to stand still when they have problems. i hate it when they believe that their problems are so earth-shattering that they have to spend forever brooding and sulking when real people are dying across continents and around the world. i hate people who dont know how to shut up. when they say things without thinking. when their words are designed to hurt. when they air their opinions openly about issues that are none of their goddamned business. your opinions are yours to keep, but for fuck's sake shut up if nobody's asking for it.
*when i need you, you're only almost here.
I want many things.
i want to travel the world. see things i never seen and learn languages i never knew exsited. i want to learn how to sail. to feel the wind against my face. to remind myself that the sunsets are still beautiful. i want to skydive. to leave my mark among the clouds. to feel the thrill of flying. to cheat death. i want to have superpowers. to be wolverine. to experience the feeling of invincibility. to discover what it's like to kill so dispassionately. to be so detached and yet so passionate. ruthless but with the ability to love.
i hate it when people think that the world revolves around them and that time has to stand still when they have problems. i hate it when they believe that their problems are so earth-shattering that they have to spend forever brooding and sulking when real people are dying across continents and around the world. i hate people who dont know how to shut up. when they say things without thinking. when their words are designed to hurt. when they air their opinions openly about issues that are none of their goddamned business. your opinions are yours to keep, but for fuck's sake shut up if nobody's asking for it.
*when i need you, you're only almost here.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
A drop of blood in a bowl of milk
recently i got to experience two extreme ends of human nature.
i finished reading The Timetraveller's Wife and the story was nothing short of heart-wrenching. with a love so strong that transcends time (literally), i wouldnt blame you if you started to believe in the world again.
it's really a great read and is different from the normal thrashy romance thingys. one precaution though, if you have tears, then prepare to shed them. but you would feel that the world is a better place after reading.
but alas, i have to go watch Closer.
yeap, so sigh with me.
the word love and everything good that was associated to it was destroyed by the movie. love was bandied around like a hot potato. one minute i love you, the next minute i love her but in the end i guess i love me most.
everybody fucks everybody and everybody wants to know if how many times the other body came. there is no choice but to deduce that love lasts only as long as the next great fuck.
it was one big love making story.
so at the end of the day, cynicism won hands down in the face of idealism.
maybe thats why The Timetraveller's Wife is a "great read" while Closer is a movie that "depicts real life".
*i feel so tired that i bought stapler without buying staplets.
i feel so tired that i missed my stop while i was standing on the train
i feel so tired that i almost threw my clothes in the bin instead of the washing machine.
i feel so fucking tired.
recently i got to experience two extreme ends of human nature.
i finished reading The Timetraveller's Wife and the story was nothing short of heart-wrenching. with a love so strong that transcends time (literally), i wouldnt blame you if you started to believe in the world again.
it's really a great read and is different from the normal thrashy romance thingys. one precaution though, if you have tears, then prepare to shed them. but you would feel that the world is a better place after reading.
but alas, i have to go watch Closer.
yeap, so sigh with me.
the word love and everything good that was associated to it was destroyed by the movie. love was bandied around like a hot potato. one minute i love you, the next minute i love her but in the end i guess i love me most.
everybody fucks everybody and everybody wants to know if how many times the other body came. there is no choice but to deduce that love lasts only as long as the next great fuck.
it was one big love making story.
so at the end of the day, cynicism won hands down in the face of idealism.
maybe thats why The Timetraveller's Wife is a "great read" while Closer is a movie that "depicts real life".
*i feel so tired that i bought stapler without buying staplets.
i feel so tired that i missed my stop while i was standing on the train
i feel so tired that i almost threw my clothes in the bin instead of the washing machine.
i feel so fucking tired.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Every time i think of you
I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine
but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
While every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say
Now i know, now i really know.
ever waited for something. that never came? that feeling that start's with a fool's hope, kept alive by rising uncertainty and finally extinguished by utter disbelief and disappoinment?
Yeah, i thought so too.
all that was needed was a single nod, a subtle change in body language, a certain look from the eye. just to confirm that a message was indeed received.
but no.
it is felt that silence is the right way while you stand there waiting for something that'll never come.
but i have one thing to say, Dont ever say things that you dont mean and make promises you cant fucking keep.
this time the joke's on me.
I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine
but it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
While every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You'll say the words that I can't say
Now i know, now i really know.
ever waited for something. that never came? that feeling that start's with a fool's hope, kept alive by rising uncertainty and finally extinguished by utter disbelief and disappoinment?
Yeah, i thought so too.
all that was needed was a single nod, a subtle change in body language, a certain look from the eye. just to confirm that a message was indeed received.
but no.
it is felt that silence is the right way while you stand there waiting for something that'll never come.
but i have one thing to say, Dont ever say things that you dont mean and make promises you cant fucking keep.
this time the joke's on me.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Here's a quick peek at some of the msn nicks that caught my eye:
the way i want you makes me fear you
the worst things are those who linger outside our lives, not coming in, not diappearing.
overworked, underpaid and exhausted
insecured..
when a lie could be dangerous, ignorance is bliss
suicidal tendencies
maybe i'm a winner playing a losing game
dead
loser
official lost of brain
is it me or is the world getting all old and cynical? whatever happened to love, life and everything that is worth fighting for?
Anyway here's one that really did it for me.
lump of tummy
YEAH. go figure.
the way i want you makes me fear you
the worst things are those who linger outside our lives, not coming in, not diappearing.
overworked, underpaid and exhausted
insecured..
when a lie could be dangerous, ignorance is bliss
suicidal tendencies
maybe i'm a winner playing a losing game
dead
loser
official lost of brain
is it me or is the world getting all old and cynical? whatever happened to love, life and everything that is worth fighting for?
Anyway here's one that really did it for me.
lump of tummy
YEAH. go figure.
Friday, February 18, 2005
i hate this self-imposed self-censorship. the only area of expression is facing so much restrictions that at the end of the day, nothing is vented at all. which begs the question, then why have something online where everybody can access to it?
i guess i'm just an attentionseeking whore deep down inside.
somethings never do change do they?
never
i guess i'm just an attentionseeking whore deep down inside.
somethings never do change do they?
never
Thursday, February 17, 2005
The one with Eva Longoria
i remembered watching one of the earlier episode of friends where Rachel and Ross were together. Monica has just broken up with that old doctor (forgot the name) and was sulking her days away. Ross and Rachel were in bed and Rachel grilled Ross about his deepest fantasy. Ross confessed.
It was Princess Leia in her gold bikini.
Subsequently, Pheebs and Mon got to know it and poked fun at Ross's fantasy. Frustrated and confused, Ross confronted Rachel about this. Rachel said of course the girls know because apparently girls share EVERYTHING.
Yes Everything. Even your size and performance.
Anyway, i digress.
So Ross thought that this sharing sisterhood thing was meaningful. he told chandler about it and they agreed to share some deep dark secrets with each other.
"have you ever experienced while you were doing it and everything was going great. but while you're in the heat of things, suddenly the face of your mum appears out of nowhere in your mind and no matter how you try you cant shake off that image?" said chandler (he said something in this sense)
"oh my god!" said Ross and ran out of central perks.
that night, Rachel decided to fulfill Ross's fantasy and came to bed dressed in a gold bikini with the princess leia hairdo. you'd have thought that upon seeing Rachel, Ross would have been overwhelmed with lust.
unfortunately no.
chandler's sick words played on his mind and what he saw wasnt rachel in a gold bikini.
what he saw was his MOM in a gold bikini.
and needless to say, he went to bed traumatised and with a seething rachel beside him.
*aaargh
i remembered watching one of the earlier episode of friends where Rachel and Ross were together. Monica has just broken up with that old doctor (forgot the name) and was sulking her days away. Ross and Rachel were in bed and Rachel grilled Ross about his deepest fantasy. Ross confessed.
It was Princess Leia in her gold bikini.
Subsequently, Pheebs and Mon got to know it and poked fun at Ross's fantasy. Frustrated and confused, Ross confronted Rachel about this. Rachel said of course the girls know because apparently girls share EVERYTHING.
Yes Everything. Even your size and performance.
Anyway, i digress.
So Ross thought that this sharing sisterhood thing was meaningful. he told chandler about it and they agreed to share some deep dark secrets with each other.
"have you ever experienced while you were doing it and everything was going great. but while you're in the heat of things, suddenly the face of your mum appears out of nowhere in your mind and no matter how you try you cant shake off that image?" said chandler (he said something in this sense)
"oh my god!" said Ross and ran out of central perks.
that night, Rachel decided to fulfill Ross's fantasy and came to bed dressed in a gold bikini with the princess leia hairdo. you'd have thought that upon seeing Rachel, Ross would have been overwhelmed with lust.
unfortunately no.
chandler's sick words played on his mind and what he saw wasnt rachel in a gold bikini.
what he saw was his MOM in a gold bikini.
and needless to say, he went to bed traumatised and with a seething rachel beside him.
*aaargh
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Things have gone out of hand
i heard from somewhere that we should never post/publish/send stuff that we have just written when we are emotionally charged or unstable. it is believed that we will regret what we say in time to come.
but i say fuck that.
well, i didnt feel any sudden remorse and regret coursing through my veins and assaulting my brain. so i guess it is safe to continue. once in awhile, people will say something that will trigger something so deep inside you that you will go shooting through the roof in fury.
fury. white hot molten anger blinding me with frightening speed. i need to strike out. sometimes all you can do is gawk at the absolute and downright naivety and stupidity at the logic (the lack of it) people possess.
i know attraction cannot be explained in a logical way. but i know downright stubborness and tunnel vision when i see it. the parties involved are more than you can handle. when all is said and done, you will leave a path of destruction in your wake. do you want this to hang over you for the rest of your life?
the apparent nonchalance and ignorance is pissing me off. maybe i am of no right to comment because i cannot really see from your point of view. but to leave them in the dark..
disappointment. utter disappointment. and i'll just leave it at that.
how the hell did all these happen?
and i have the perfect word to describe it all.
fuck.
on a more calmer issue, i know things were done with the best intentions. i dont fault that but i feel there could have been a better way. but what's done is done so lets move on. but please no hanky panky behind my back anymore.
*please
i heard from somewhere that we should never post/publish/send stuff that we have just written when we are emotionally charged or unstable. it is believed that we will regret what we say in time to come.
but i say fuck that.
well, i didnt feel any sudden remorse and regret coursing through my veins and assaulting my brain. so i guess it is safe to continue. once in awhile, people will say something that will trigger something so deep inside you that you will go shooting through the roof in fury.
fury. white hot molten anger blinding me with frightening speed. i need to strike out. sometimes all you can do is gawk at the absolute and downright naivety and stupidity at the logic (the lack of it) people possess.
i know attraction cannot be explained in a logical way. but i know downright stubborness and tunnel vision when i see it. the parties involved are more than you can handle. when all is said and done, you will leave a path of destruction in your wake. do you want this to hang over you for the rest of your life?
the apparent nonchalance and ignorance is pissing me off. maybe i am of no right to comment because i cannot really see from your point of view. but to leave them in the dark..
disappointment. utter disappointment. and i'll just leave it at that.
how the hell did all these happen?
and i have the perfect word to describe it all.
fuck.
on a more calmer issue, i know things were done with the best intentions. i dont fault that but i feel there could have been a better way. but what's done is done so lets move on. but please no hanky panky behind my back anymore.
*please
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
and i understand
i guess it's time for me to return
to the place where it all begun
to the beginning
where reality and fantasy
weaved into one
a place where my past
was nothing but a dream
watching at your half-hearted attempt on humour
the laughter that never quite reached your eyes
you feel so faraway
that i cant reach for you anymore
and i understand
the subtle way
you no longer reach for my hand
and use the shampoo
that i have come to love
and i understand
how you would
look away
when i tried to
wade through the endless abyss
within your eyes
and i understand
why at this moment
you are holding my hand
so tightly it hurts
telling me words
that we once
promised
never to say to
each other
and i understand
the reason why
i am listening close
to every single word
you utter
as if they were your last
because
i know
it will be your last.
and i understand, i understand.
as the first light dawns, it signals the end
to everything.
i guess it's time for me to return
to the place where it all begun
to the beginning
where reality and fantasy
weaved into one
a place where my past
was nothing but a dream
watching at your half-hearted attempt on humour
the laughter that never quite reached your eyes
you feel so faraway
that i cant reach for you anymore
and i understand
the subtle way
you no longer reach for my hand
and use the shampoo
that i have come to love
and i understand
how you would
look away
when i tried to
wade through the endless abyss
within your eyes
and i understand
why at this moment
you are holding my hand
so tightly it hurts
telling me words
that we once
promised
never to say to
each other
and i understand
the reason why
i am listening close
to every single word
you utter
as if they were your last
because
i know
it will be your last.
and i understand, i understand.
as the first light dawns, it signals the end
to everything.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Spirited Away
one day i would be able to master all the languages in the world and speak like natives. and armed with nothing but a little hope, i would backpack across the world to places that i never dreamed existed. i would sail across the altantic where the vast expanse of water will invoke feelings that i never experienced. and when the sun sets at dusk, the array of colours and breathtaking display across the horizon will assault my senses. as i close my eyes, i can feel and hear the wind against my face, the sensations no written word can explain. a smile plays along my lips and at that moment, freedom is defined. magical
i would travel the world and learn about cultures i never heard of. i will speak with the natives in their own tongue, learn how to do the rain dance and how to make medincine with plants that have yet to be discovered . not because i crave their acceptance but just so because i respect their way of life. i would travel from the sleazy backstreets of amsterdam to the majestic scenery that is new zealand. i will learn to ski at the swiss alps. my footsteps will bring me to the Sacri Monti of Piedmont and Lombardy where a fusion of sheer artistry, skill and a landscape of moutains, lakes and forests, take my breath away. milan will no longer be just a legend but an everlasting memory.
walking along the tagus river of Lisbon, the city is filled with houses whose facades are decked in ceramic tiles. as nighttime descends, the sound of traditional Fado songs are heard across the warmth of homes. cairo will be the next stop, the place where pharoahs once rule and now they reside in majestic and skilled skyscrapers that are called pyramids.
My weary feet will bring me to the land where religions were claimed to be originated. i would visit the dead sea and see if everything floats. i would step foot on Jerusalem, a place so filled with history and legend but at the same time not spared of bloodshed and violence in the battle of 'religious' supremacy.
France will be a stop that i will never miss. if it was possible, i would take as long as it takes to travel the whole of France, from Lille at the north all the way to montpellier at the south coast. i would be sure to be at Marseille, the oldest city of France and immerse myself in the rustic charm of hills and sea. who can forget Paris, the city of romance and untold possibilities? i would attempt to take the stairs up the Eiffel Tower and drink in the wonderful sights that will wash over me. at night, i will watch in dreamy wonder as the guardian of Paris is illuminated with golden beacons of light can be seen from the rooftop. it would be sheer magic. i want to get lost as i walk along the streets of Champ Elysees, walking from avenue to avenue, speechless by the sheer fairytale quality of everything. when i'm tired, i will walk into a coffeeshop by the street and have a latte with croissant and wink at every blue eyed girl that looks my way.
Finally, the time will come when everything has to end. i will find myself a land that is off a cliff and overlooking the sea. sunrise and sunset are nothing but just a brief look away. and when the night comes, the moonlight will illuminate the house making it glow at night.
how unbelievably mythical and magical.
*take me away from all these shit
one day i would be able to master all the languages in the world and speak like natives. and armed with nothing but a little hope, i would backpack across the world to places that i never dreamed existed. i would sail across the altantic where the vast expanse of water will invoke feelings that i never experienced. and when the sun sets at dusk, the array of colours and breathtaking display across the horizon will assault my senses. as i close my eyes, i can feel and hear the wind against my face, the sensations no written word can explain. a smile plays along my lips and at that moment, freedom is defined. magical
i would travel the world and learn about cultures i never heard of. i will speak with the natives in their own tongue, learn how to do the rain dance and how to make medincine with plants that have yet to be discovered . not because i crave their acceptance but just so because i respect their way of life. i would travel from the sleazy backstreets of amsterdam to the majestic scenery that is new zealand. i will learn to ski at the swiss alps. my footsteps will bring me to the Sacri Monti of Piedmont and Lombardy where a fusion of sheer artistry, skill and a landscape of moutains, lakes and forests, take my breath away. milan will no longer be just a legend but an everlasting memory.
walking along the tagus river of Lisbon, the city is filled with houses whose facades are decked in ceramic tiles. as nighttime descends, the sound of traditional Fado songs are heard across the warmth of homes. cairo will be the next stop, the place where pharoahs once rule and now they reside in majestic and skilled skyscrapers that are called pyramids.
My weary feet will bring me to the land where religions were claimed to be originated. i would visit the dead sea and see if everything floats. i would step foot on Jerusalem, a place so filled with history and legend but at the same time not spared of bloodshed and violence in the battle of 'religious' supremacy.
France will be a stop that i will never miss. if it was possible, i would take as long as it takes to travel the whole of France, from Lille at the north all the way to montpellier at the south coast. i would be sure to be at Marseille, the oldest city of France and immerse myself in the rustic charm of hills and sea. who can forget Paris, the city of romance and untold possibilities? i would attempt to take the stairs up the Eiffel Tower and drink in the wonderful sights that will wash over me. at night, i will watch in dreamy wonder as the guardian of Paris is illuminated with golden beacons of light can be seen from the rooftop. it would be sheer magic. i want to get lost as i walk along the streets of Champ Elysees, walking from avenue to avenue, speechless by the sheer fairytale quality of everything. when i'm tired, i will walk into a coffeeshop by the street and have a latte with croissant and wink at every blue eyed girl that looks my way.
Finally, the time will come when everything has to end. i will find myself a land that is off a cliff and overlooking the sea. sunrise and sunset are nothing but just a brief look away. and when the night comes, the moonlight will illuminate the house making it glow at night.
how unbelievably mythical and magical.
*take me away from all these shit
Saturday, January 29, 2005
The calm before the storm
there's so much to say but yet at the same time there's nothing left to say. an obvious contradiction i know. but isnt life itself one huge contradiction?
i am weary of the weight of time.
the process of time has wore away the walls that you can find comfort in. expectations has took away the cool detachment that you so craved for and cherished. they say you dont make enough decisons but when you do make them. they are greeted with scorn and disinterest. people have led you to believe but you dscover everything was just an elaborate lie. a scam to make you sink deeper than you once were.
you thought, you assumed, you even dared to believe and therefore you will suffer.
and now here you are, in the abyss of nothingness. the silence mocking, the darkness complete and the damage total. and you know it's nobody's fault but your own.
i dont feel like going on anymore
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
there's so much to say but yet at the same time there's nothing left to say. an obvious contradiction i know. but isnt life itself one huge contradiction?
i am weary of the weight of time.
the process of time has wore away the walls that you can find comfort in. expectations has took away the cool detachment that you so craved for and cherished. they say you dont make enough decisons but when you do make them. they are greeted with scorn and disinterest. people have led you to believe but you dscover everything was just an elaborate lie. a scam to make you sink deeper than you once were.
you thought, you assumed, you even dared to believe and therefore you will suffer.
and now here you are, in the abyss of nothingness. the silence mocking, the darkness complete and the damage total. and you know it's nobody's fault but your own.
i dont feel like going on anymore
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
in the depths of silence, my mind follows the fading light with hopeless abandon. the signs of a broken life engulf me. the silence is deafening, mocking me to the deepest recesses of my soul. i wipe away the telltale emotions that have escaped my eyes. there is just no other way to begin.
I HATE FINANCE
oh and on a lighter note, i think Eva Longoria is FHOT.
I HATE FINANCE
oh and on a lighter note, i think Eva Longoria is FHOT.
Friday, January 14, 2005
resurrected this from one of the previous posts. it still stands true.
some people just pretend they know me so damn well when they dont
some people just pretend they are so damn close to me when they are not
some people are just so misconstrued to think they are so damn close to me and they know me so damn well to even start judging me
but i am telling you
GET REAL and listen.
stop fucking judge me and telling me what to do.
because you wont if you really know me that well as you thought.
we flatter those we hardly know
we please the fleeting guest
and deal full many a thoughless blow
to those who love us best.
some people just pretend they know me so damn well when they dont
some people just pretend they are so damn close to me when they are not
some people are just so misconstrued to think they are so damn close to me and they know me so damn well to even start judging me
but i am telling you
GET REAL and listen.
stop fucking judge me and telling me what to do.
because you wont if you really know me that well as you thought.
we flatter those we hardly know
we please the fleeting guest
and deal full many a thoughless blow
to those who love us best.
Saturday, January 08, 2005
It's like being in a state of non-existence. a realm between fantasy and reality. A vacuum. darkness and light at the same time. there's no gravity and i'm floating freely. there's no air but i know i'm breathing. dreams turn into nightmares and nightmares into dreams.
somebody wake me up please.
i'm coughing like a damned bloody pig.
god help me but i cant even sleep well.
somebody wake me up please.
i'm coughing like a damned bloody pig.
god help me but i cant even sleep well.