The end of a beginning

Some days are good. Some days are bad. Most days I just want the whole world to evaporate. That was exactly how I felt during my 3 months stint "overseas".

I still remember vividly the poster that greeted me when I first stepped onto the shores of Tekong.

"It's not what you have left behind but what you will gain in the days ahead."

- PUKE

Expletives, mild and shocking alike, surfaced in my mind urging me to let them out in one long breath. I sighed instead. Looking back, the 3 months there was really a blur. Everything has to be done fast and correctly. And to top it all off, our instructors have a habit of contradicting themselves and one another.

This has to my favourite instruction.

"I never ask you all to run. I just want you all to move FAST."

There and then I decided command school is not for me.

But I have learned and experienced things that many will never get the chance to even try. I know the feeling of exhiliration when you see a tracer round being fired. I felt the sense of relief from my PC when I passed him the safety ring instead of the grenade during live grenade throw. All of us sang our hearts out during our 24 km march, lifting flagging spirits and galvanizing everyone for that one final push.

I was there for all that and for that I'm glad. I realised the true meaning of mental endurance, of "mind over body".

It was POP day and all of us were gathered at the basketball court when my section mate made this comment, "Walau, when bookout day all of us happy like fuck. Now POP all of our faces so black."

It was true. Most of us were having mixed feelings about passing out. While I am glad to be leaving the island, I know I will miss my sections mates. We truly had a helluva good time.

As they say, when one door closes, another opens. The end of one chapter is just a start of another. So here's to a great tomorrow.

6 more weeks. ENDURE

One day is too fucking short. Fuck

FUCK

For Queen & Country

3 whole weeks. No sign of the finish line. There's really nothing much to comment about it. Everything that needs to be cried over about have been discussed by many people. And all the bad stuff you heard and read?

They are true.

In the early morning march
with a rifle on my back
with an aching in my heart
and my body's full of sweat

I'm a long long way from home
and I miss my lover so
In the early morning march
Let the cold wind blow

When the cold wind blows
when the cold wind blows
I'm coming back home

I know, I know
You have to go
So hurry back home
I miss you so

Goodye Cruel World.

I took a 45-min shower in anticipation of 'less than 5 min' shower times for the next 2 weeks. While doing that, I tried to figure out why women take forever inside showers. Well I didn't manage to find out why.

But I did manage to learn how to pick up my soap if I dropped it and at the same time defend my behind. I'm sure that'll come in useful.

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin' it's early morn
The taxi's waitin' he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Close your eyes I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times, I won't have to say

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Well, I'm leaving on a boat.
See ya in 2 weeks.

Love. At All Costs

Man, don't people sleep till noon ANYMORE!!!

ugh

"Look, Women are more intelligent than we are, or at least more honest with themselves about what they do or don't want. Another question is whether they tell you or the world. You're facing the enigma of nature. Womankind is an indecipherable maze. If you give her time to think, you're lost. Remember: Warm heart, cold mind. The seducer's code."

Except for having a chronic confusion with adverbs and questionable (no) sense of directions , I am inclined to agree with the quote above.

You know adverbs? No = Yes, Yes = anything she wants it to be?

Woman: "Honey do you think I look fat?"
Man: "No"
Woman: "You're lying! No sex for 1 month and you're sleeping on the couch!"
*women walks angrily towards the bedroom and opens the door
Man: "Honey that's the front door, the bedroom is at the other end."

Man: " Are you sure you're ok with me going out with the boys tonight?"
Woman: "Yes... I think"
Man: "You think?"
Woman: "Don't rush me dammit! I'm trying to figure out what 'YES' means this time!"

Get the picture now? and oh yes I agree totally that they are an indecipherable maze.

Anyway female empowerment has really come a long way. So much so that now men have a seducer's code. I'm not so sure about the seducer's code, but I can guarantee ancient men swore by the old code, which Julius Caesar eventually popularised, as a guideline to seduce women.

I came, I saw, I conquered

From the code alone, you can see how different the ancient alpha males are from us.

You see, I always thought men come towards the end. But hey with a code like that, you can come anytime you want. I'm just joking. You do KNOW that some men have trouble standing straight, let alone come right?

Anyway, I have always been envious of the ancient seduction code. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy clubs girl unconcious and drags girl to cave. And they live happily ever after.

Ever wondered why women are not as bright last time? Well I don't have the answer, but I can assure you the frequent whacking of their heads had nothing to do that.

Fast forward to the 21st century. Now our eyes can't even stray south while talking to them without them screaming bloody murder. Our ancient alpha males must be turning in their macho graves. I mean they don't even talk, they club.

Subconsciously we try to emulate them. Or else where do you think the word clubbing originated from eh?

However, I'm not even sure I am interested anymore. Just the other day, I saw this woman in boots walking past. A cigarette was somehow stuck between her lips while she conversed with her friend (if you call uttering hokkien's finest sentences conversing). Too much makeup, if she cries, you'd think that her skin was dripping off. I'd rather die by my right hand if she was the only woman left on earth. I'm sorry, but I just don't dig girls who wear boots.

Finally

You all do realise I am only just kidding about everything right. In truth, I have the deepest respect for all womenfolk. I am also very grateful to Adam who got bored playing with animals and himself and thus asked God to grant him a playmate.

And besides, I prefer a red brick to a wooden club.

Legend says that women bricked with a red brick can actually cook. Whoopee

Changing Times

There were moments along the way when shutting down this space really appealed to me. It's not that I do not have things to moan about. Believe me, the angst just do not disappear. For that matter, my list of contemmpt, I assure you, have been significantly lengthened since the last time I poured scorn on those pompous asses. Well, the reason why I have not been checking back is really very simple.

I was lazy.

UH HUH.

I can assure you the spirit in me was more than willing to conjure up a piece of literary beauty. But when I compare the advantages of shooting and disfiguring people's faces in virtual space and racking my brains for that elusive inspiration. The himbo in me won hands down.

But a man can only kill so much. So I decided it is time to answer a higher calling than killing people and monsters - stabbing others in the back.

I realise it would be very unfair to all the toms, dicks (heh) and harrys (hairys?) who have pissed me off not to get their moment of spotlight here. I believe it is my moral responsibility to document these dipshits in all of their glory and proclaim their greatness to the world.

As the saying goes, clothes make the man. Therefore I have armed myself with a new template.

I mean I am an advocate of the "beauty is skin deep", "It is what's inside that counts", "Dont judge a book by it's cover" and all that hoo-hah. But, this is a very big BUT, appearances do matter ok. Do not try to quote me on this, I will deny it under oath.

So females, next time you hear a guy utter anything that remotely sounds like "I personally do not think looks are important at all, I believe what is more important is what's inside the person." You've got a liar in the house.

Rejoice males, women do not place looks as high on the list as men do. But if you for a moment think you have the better bargain, think again. You know the never-ending debate about whether size does matter?

Yeap, same principle applies.

Sigh

Sorry, I digress

ANYWAY, I hope the new template will inspire me to produce many different expressions and sentences that in the end must mean "go fuck yourself". And sooner rather than later, I will unleash literary hell on people who stepped on my toes. Hold on to your knickers people.

Oh and to those who have been checking this space religously for the past 3 months. You either have too much time or you really like me *wink

But thank you all the same.

and to you and B1 and B2 -> *kiss kiss. heh heh heh

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

Blue Moon Rising

"Hello my friend, we meet again. It's been awhile, where should we begin? Feels like forever."

It's been a long while. And I have (plagarised) a new template. That's all I can churn out now. Will be back soon.

Promise

Without words, what are we?

Alright I give up.

I have sat staring at the screen for the past 15 min so that something intelligent can inspire me and make me spit out verses of wisdom. Well, considering my brain has only performed at the maximum of 4 functions, I'm thankful that coherent words are formed in my head. The 4 functions that dominate my life are, Eat, Sleep, Play and Sleep again.

Stop snickering. It ain't funny.

ANYWAY

I remember when I first started this, words literally flow out of my hands and become deep insight that everybody lapped up.

Words, at first glance just a way to communicate. But if harnessed, words are vessels of passions and emotions that contain the ideals of those who use it. And without ideals, what are we?


Oh of course there were detractors who rail against me and my kind. Visiting this space and later retreating to their cave and whining about the inflammatory and insidious nature of my comments. They called my words all kind of things, but never once, did they say it was false. So they tried to justify the actions, that the ends warranted the means.

Most importantly, they do not realise that people just do not care. Until the day they do, they will always get defensive when they see words that intrude into their comfor zone not by coming out with guns blazing. But whining.

I just read through what I wrote and that I dont even understand myself.

Not bad for someone who performs 4 functions a day.

So here's a quote, the shallow side of me and all of you will definitely understand.

"Fat chicks need love too, but they gotta pay."

Oops.

I know I know, it has been 2 months since the last entry. But sometimes there are so many things to say and words have become a hindrance instead. So until the next time I put my mind to having a real post, here is something meaningful to keep your bed warm at night.

"However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous"

Right in the middle of nowhere

I am sitting my ass in front of a computer terminal in a cybercafe.

and I am in a cultural shock.

If you always thought cybercafes in Singapore was sleazy and filled with techno music and those who love listening to techno music, wait till you visit one from our friendly country neighbour.

Now I am being introduced to a medley of songs, I can make out Usher, the chicken little song, the very overrated song from Guang Liang and some techno shit. And to my suprise and horror, these people are actually digging it.

Ugh.

At least in Singapore you can pin typical stereotypes on them, but here I have no freaking idea how to exercise my biased judgement against them.

But hey they are open on the first day of new year, so who's complaining?

Oh blondie at the cashier has just change the cafe's music theme to techno + R&B.

WICKED.

On an entirely different road, I am not stuffing as much pineapple tarts as I thought I would. Dammit, nobody bothered to make or buy this year and I just finished the last box.

Crap.

Alright, I'll have to switch my attentions to Bah Kwa.

Happy CNY everybody.