The calm before the storm

there's so much to say but yet at the same time there's nothing left to say. an obvious contradiction i know. but isnt life itself one huge contradiction?

i am weary of the weight of time.

the process of time has wore away the walls that you can find comfort in. expectations has took away the cool detachment that you so craved for and cherished. they say you dont make enough decisons but when you do make them. they are greeted with scorn and disinterest. people have led you to believe but you dscover everything was just an elaborate lie. a scam to make you sink deeper than you once were.

you thought, you assumed, you even dared to believe and therefore you will suffer.

and now here you are, in the abyss of nothingness. the silence mocking, the darkness complete and the damage total. and you know it's nobody's fault but your own.

i dont feel like going on anymore

滴下的眼泪已停不住了

in the depths of silence, my mind follows the fading light with hopeless abandon. the signs of a broken life engulf me. the silence is deafening, mocking me to the deepest recesses of my soul. i wipe away the telltale emotions that have escaped my eyes. there is just no other way to begin.

I HATE FINANCE

oh and on a lighter note, i think Eva Longoria is FHOT.

resurrected this from one of the previous posts. it still stands true.

some people just pretend they know me so damn well when they dont
some people just pretend they are so damn close to me when they are not
some people are just so misconstrued to think they are so damn close to me and they know me so damn well to even start judging me

but i am telling you

GET REAL and listen.
stop fucking judge me and telling me what to do.
because you wont if you really know me that well as you thought.

we flatter those we hardly know
we please the fleeting guest
and deal full many a thoughless blow
to those who love us best.

It's like being in a state of non-existence. a realm between fantasy and reality. A vacuum. darkness and light at the same time. there's no gravity and i'm floating freely. there's no air but i know i'm breathing. dreams turn into nightmares and nightmares into dreams.

somebody wake me up please.

i'm coughing like a damned bloody pig.
god help me but i cant even sleep well.