the feeling of old wounds being cut open again is beyond any description. every word sears through the skin, leaving a path of destruction in its wake and finally reducing the very soul to a pile of rubble. like a nightmare that just wont go away, the words have carved themselves perfectly onto the skin. you make me sink down to this abyss of insanity where i'm vulnerable to the slightest provocation and goading.

for reasons beyond me, i have ran out of words and cant continue. but here is little piece of nothing that best sums up everything.


I cant believe how fucked up life really is.


it never rains, it pours. everytime, every single time

I walk a lonely road
The only one I that have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But its home and I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
in a place where the city sleeps
and most would fade away

It's my thoughts of you that stayed
there is no place to go to
if i lost this view

without you

i am
trying to
walk away
from this place
where every word
speaks your name

the words
they burn like poison
scalding me
till the deepest ends
of my mind

we are
trapped
unknowingly, involuntarily
in this
beautiful charade
that we
continue
to play
both refusing
to acknowledge
to feel
to see
of what lies beneath
of the truth

i am
trying but
it is
not that
easy
you
are not
making it
easy

"you had me at hello."

life is such a fucking big joke. so full of goddamned twists and turns that every single blow hit you dead at the centre. before you can even go reeling from that impact, reality decides to drop by and deliver the coup de grace. you are suffocating and drowning in this sea of confusion. problems never cease and misery take centre stage. what you really do not need now is some moronic and irritating individual to get on your nerves . basically, life is just a dainty piece of shit now. or rather you are the piece of shit.

hold me for awhile
just for a moment
please

The end

in the midst of smiles and laughter
i fade slowly into oblivion
deeper i go
into the realms unknown
the water is rising
and salvation beckons
higher, i shouted
as water and darkness engulfed me
take me, i begged
take me and end this beautiful charade forever
i cant take it anymore

"whoever said that there are plenty of fish in the sea was lying, sometimes there's only one fish. trust me."

*everytime, every single damned time.

Farewell
I knew that this moment
would come in time
That I'd have to let go
and watch you fly
I know you're coming back
so why am I dying inside
Are you searching for words
that you can't find
Trying to hide your emotions
but eyes don't lie
Guess there's just
no easy way to say goodbye.

"But for now, let me say. without hope or agenda. That to me you are perfect. and my wasted heart will love you.."